Not Pregnant

So I'm not Pregnant. Why the obvious statement? This last month we did the whole "we aren't preventing" or the "we are not not trying" approach to building a family. I was very tired of condoms ( I think I am allergic) and pointed out that further practice would not be including this form of prevention so it was either no sex or not preventing. We both jumped on the no preventing. Who wants to go with out sex? Hubbs pointed out it would be a February baby. Awesome great! Whatever... Then my period showed up. I was convinced the first 8 hours or so that it could really actually totally be implantion spotting. But seeing how I had never actually heard about that until the last year or two and period was well known and came often it was a short lived 8 hours of hope.  But after that 8 hours... or really about hour 5 I had a huge crash and became pretty darn depressed at not being pregnant. Or at least as pretty depressed as you can be for not actually trying to accomplish anything. I can't even imagine how a women who charts, temps, etc and does everything "by the book" and still didnt' get pregnant can feel. I can only imagine that it is pure hell. I get the whole "failure" and "body not work" look out of the whole process. I didn't completely understand why a women could get so completely lost in the idea each and every single month until now. You get that hope for two or three weeks and then a week long reminder of how poorly things work out, then to just do it all over again and again. Yowzer!