To last night husband and I were eating dinner and out of left field I totally laid down this doozy "I want to adopt and I want you to commit to me saying that we WILL do it some day" That verbal bombing was followed by a blank stare so I continued.
"I don't mean just someday" Boom!
"I'm talking like 100% sure" Bang!
"I mean we want a lot of kids, OK a few, and I need one of them to be adopted for sure" KAPOW!!
I thank that leveled him down. So yes, I verbally bombed my husband last night. Luckily the man will recover. He has learned well over the last few years to survive my bombings. He also had just completed a negotiating class hours before. He new better then to ask "Where does this come from?!" We have talked adoption we have even talked fostering. Well, OK, honestly those are all verbal bombings too. But! We did talk about them. This was no left field discussion.
"I thought that adopting was plan B?" Ah, calm cool and collected. Just how I like my recovery process to start.
"I see it as more of plan A part 2... or part 1" OK... so that came from left field... BOOM!
Basically I made it clear that I need him to consider adopting before we start trying. I want us to know going into this that our family will grow by at least one adoption. Now, if our family only grows by adoption I am OK with that too. That we have discussed that we know will be our "plan B" if conceiving natural doesn't occur. I have a "fear" or "reassurance" that the reason I stumble on these adoption blogs and read these stories is because I am being prepared. I think this is the beginning of my journey. Instead of having 20/20 hindsight and being grateful that I had read these things I am making mental notes and realizing the gift I have in front of me.
So, my verbal bombing has stopped for now. I even apologized for the hostel attack later. He forgives me. He knows that I do this. Scare thing is how much I actually hold back. I'm not sure he could handle all that I consider dropping on him! But I did give him a time frame. 1 to 2 years. He has that long to consider adoption and make the right choice! He doesn't see it as plan A part anything yet. It is still a plan B but hopefully he feel the way I do when the time comes.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Weighting
The Tuesday before New Years I had off. I also decided that I WAS going to do wei.ght wat.chers! I was, I was going to do it. Not the new years resolution kind of weight loss... but the get your life in shape plan.
I started off at 161.4 according to the scare at WW. Now, my "normal body range" stops at 160. One pound over doesn't sound bad to me at all, however the last time I had weighed my self I was closer to 165+. So just being 161.4 was kind of nice, then I remember I have been at 110 at this height. OK, so 110 was a silly number to be at, I was eating more ranch dressing and chocolate then anything else. I also wore a size zero and fainted a little, so 110 isn't my new goal, which is good WW thinks it doesn't need to be lower then 125. Hum... 125... honestly that still sounds a little low. I'm proud of my self for admitting that and not being ridiculous about this. So my goal is 135. I was happy with 130 and might still shoot for that but 140 seemed "too easy" so there we go.
This is all really based on the idea that when you are your "ideal weight" you can conceive easier, thus why I write about it here. I am trying to get to a healthy baby making size! HA. Since we were still trying to figure out when to start trying I finally laid down he criteria:
1: Pay the car off
2: Reside the house
3: Meet my weight goal
4: Be OFF BC for 6 months
Goals 1-3 have to be met before goal 4 will even start. But those are it. So no monthly time line or age specific. I want to be healthy and not have huge money problems looming. BTW I lost 3.6 lbs in one week!
I started off at 161.4 according to the scare at WW. Now, my "normal body range" stops at 160. One pound over doesn't sound bad to me at all, however the last time I had weighed my self I was closer to 165+. So just being 161.4 was kind of nice, then I remember I have been at 110 at this height. OK, so 110 was a silly number to be at, I was eating more ranch dressing and chocolate then anything else. I also wore a size zero and fainted a little, so 110 isn't my new goal, which is good WW thinks it doesn't need to be lower then 125. Hum... 125... honestly that still sounds a little low. I'm proud of my self for admitting that and not being ridiculous about this. So my goal is 135. I was happy with 130 and might still shoot for that but 140 seemed "too easy" so there we go.
This is all really based on the idea that when you are your "ideal weight" you can conceive easier, thus why I write about it here. I am trying to get to a healthy baby making size! HA. Since we were still trying to figure out when to start trying I finally laid down he criteria:
1: Pay the car off
2: Reside the house
3: Meet my weight goal
4: Be OFF BC for 6 months
Goals 1-3 have to be met before goal 4 will even start. But those are it. So no monthly time line or age specific. I want to be healthy and not have huge money problems looming. BTW I lost 3.6 lbs in one week!
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